remembering that you can ask God for anything

This initially hit me when I read psalms 3, which says: "strike the jaw of my enemies oh Lord, break the teeth of the wicked." I don't know if you caught that, but David is pretty much asking God to punch somebody in the face, and break their teeth while he while he's at it. I think this is the best example of intimate faith and trust in God, because I don't know about you, but I usually think twice about asking God to wallop somebody directly in the face, but that just me. David however, had both a close enough relationship with God, and enough faith in him, that he was confident that God both could and would do it for him, and that's a lot of faith, an insane amount that I aspire to have at one point in my life, and I think we all should.

Having a cool name for your youth group

This is a tactic for stealing people from other churches. I mean capturing the attention of today's youth through creative and imaginative idioms. But in all seriousness, this is getting pretty big in the church world. In my experience, If you can get a name that makes no sense until you elaborate on it,(Strate up, Projekt urban life, Etc.) and if you can get said name down to one word,(bonus points if you can make it an acronym, those things rock.) but if you can't do that, try to misspell a word or two,(projekt, ekstreem, strate, Etc.) it'll draw some serious youths. Trust me, name it and they will come, like moths to flame, like flies to a dead thing, like.... wow, I felt really confident going into that. Anyway, there are some serious followers of this book of youth group awesomeness. And expect me publish a book exactly like that: "Projekt ekstreem strateness, the ultimate guide to youth group outreach awesomeness." I'll make hundreds.

wanting fame.....for Jesus.

If I'm not wrong, then we all do this, a lot. I do it all the time, I think about when I become famous (it'll happen, count on it) how I'll be playin' basketball with the president, dunkin' on his Delegates, then I'll complement im' on political etiquette- wait, forget the last 19 words just happened, that's for my essay about being a billionaire. but seriously, we always fantasize about being famous and rich, then justify it by throwing out a shout out to Jesus at the end of the daydream, then we decide it sounds good and we decide to use it in our Grammy speech, and it's all good. I think that we make God hurt a little whenever we think like this, because even if he has blessed us with incredible musical or athletic ability, we decide that it would be better used for our glory instead of his, and that right there is a whole lot of pride that can do us bad, really bad.

Drop-kicking Satan in the face.

I'm not entirely sure how this works, but it sounded good on the title and that's what I'm going with. When I chose the title for this post I got a hilarious image of my pastor jumping from the pulpit, running full speed towards the back (where Satan hangs out by the way, ppfffft c'mon everybody knows that.) jumping in the air, leveling out feet first and then connecting with such force that Satan drops his cigarette..... I laughed for like 5 minutes straight. I chose the drop-kick because It's one of the most hardcore moves that one can preform on another person, but also because it requires more commitment and sacrifice then any other assault that I could think of, I mean seriously, the only thing that a punch requires in the realm of personal sacrifice is 5 seconds of spare time which is not very hard to muster, and maybe a little skin off the knuckles (This doesn't matter for me of course since my pain tolerance is so high) while the drop-kick, on the other hand requires you -as described before-  to sail through the air and, once the move is complete, fall to the ground in a definite let down of an ending. What I'm trying to say is that we need to give up a little bit of our own lives if we want to show up Satan in a display of awesome action movie caliber martial arts, spiritual of course. But seriously, be hardcore for Jesus, give up some time, sacrifice a little, drop-kick Satan in the face.

The Bible mongoose.

Do you know what a mongoose is? They're pretty awesome, little ferocious creatures that literally fight cobras. Seriously, they stand on their hind legs and hiss and bite and go all gangsta on em'. A Bible mongoose shares some of the trademark characteristics of a real mongoose while they do bible study/small group/Sunday morning service. This type of christian is not hard to pick out in a crowd, but if you do have trouble, here's some of the things that are a giveaway: Look for anxious twitching right before the pastor gives the verse to look up, then when he does come out with it, the bible mongoose will attack the word of God so quickly and with such ferocity that there is no mistaking them for anything else. Also, expect they're bible to be worn thin and falling apart from use 24/7, but that's not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination. With the rise of iPads and other devices, this is slowly becoming a harder tactic, but I've honed my skill to the point that I am now confident that I can find any bible mongoose anywhere ever. Look for Bible mongooses in your church, believe me, they're there, you just have to find them.