Drop-kicking Satan in the face.

I'm not entirely sure how this works, but it sounded good on the title and that's what I'm going with. When I chose the title for this post I got a hilarious image of my pastor jumping from the pulpit, running full speed towards the back (where Satan hangs out by the way, ppfffft c'mon everybody knows that.) jumping in the air, leveling out feet first and then connecting with such force that Satan drops his cigarette..... I laughed for like 5 minutes straight. I chose the drop-kick because It's one of the most hardcore moves that one can preform on another person, but also because it requires more commitment and sacrifice then any other assault that I could think of, I mean seriously, the only thing that a punch requires in the realm of personal sacrifice is 5 seconds of spare time which is not very hard to muster, and maybe a little skin off the knuckles (This doesn't matter for me of course since my pain tolerance is so high) while the drop-kick, on the other hand requires you -as described before-  to sail through the air and, once the move is complete, fall to the ground in a definite let down of an ending. What I'm trying to say is that we need to give up a little bit of our own lives if we want to show up Satan in a display of awesome action movie caliber martial arts, spiritual of course. But seriously, be hardcore for Jesus, give up some time, sacrifice a little, drop-kick Satan in the face.

The Bible mongoose.

Do you know what a mongoose is? They're pretty awesome, little ferocious creatures that literally fight cobras. Seriously, they stand on their hind legs and hiss and bite and go all gangsta on em'. A Bible mongoose shares some of the trademark characteristics of a real mongoose while they do bible study/small group/Sunday morning service. This type of christian is not hard to pick out in a crowd, but if you do have trouble, here's some of the things that are a giveaway: Look for anxious twitching right before the pastor gives the verse to look up, then when he does come out with it, the bible mongoose will attack the word of God so quickly and with such ferocity that there is no mistaking them for anything else. Also, expect they're bible to be worn thin and falling apart from use 24/7, but that's not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination. With the rise of iPads and other devices, this is slowly becoming a harder tactic, but I've honed my skill to the point that I am now confident that I can find any bible mongoose anywhere ever. Look for Bible mongooses in your church, believe me, they're there, you just have to find them.